This weekend was a tough one. We had to work on Madisons Science fair project. Brandon came up to help us with it. We managed to make an awesome project. Her board looks great, it is black and stands out well.
Right now we are going through some major financial problems. I am so afraid of my marriage failing because of it. My husband is becoming more withdrawn and very angry all of the time. Myself and my kiddos feel like we can do nothing right, and boy if we do make any mistakes boy get out of the way. He is hoppin mad. I am just praying that we can get through this in one piece. Right now I am looking into what it would take for my kids and me to take a trip to Texas to visit my madre. Goodness I just want to get away from the nonsense for a while and clear my head.
Keep praying,
lynda

God is good. Today was good. My husband and I have finally after a long year and a half gone back to our home church. I have wanted to go back for a long time, but we always had an excuse not to go. Someone is sick, we have chores to do, we have to do a trash run.... blah blah blah. We told our kids there is just no excuses anymore, and there aren't either our stuff gets done on Saturday or they just get put off until after we are done with church. It felt good. It was great, and every time it feels like the sermon was specially made for us. To the point and well explained for even us slow people, lol. My husband and I felt good about it, and can't wait until next weekend. Thanks for all your prayers, it finally worked
Keep us in prayer to keep it up
lynda

Ya I know, I have not been on here in a while. I have been working alot. I have been thinking alot too. I think my faith is not as great as everyone elses. I am not strong, but weak. I am second guessing everything knowing everything I know. Evaluating my life, my marraige, every aspect of it. What is the point of LIFE? I just don't get it. What is MARRAIGE? Why do guys act the way they act? Why does my son say he doesn't like me unless I am playing video games with him? So many whys...... Why has he not given up? Our kids? Is that why? Is he in for the long hall? When my kids are all grown will he still be with me? Our dreams we have built together all of these years, will they vanish one day? Everything about my life revolves around him and our children. Everything about me is because of them. Every concious decision I make is about them. Why do I feel like it is not the same for him? With him I feel our life together revolves around him and how he feels and what he wants, and if life doesn't go the way he wants me and the kids will pay. We will pay with being ignored, cursed at, hollered at, how long is enough? Will this pain ever end? Will things ever be better with him? Why is it that the only way things are okay is if I do what he tells me to do? I want so bad to basically say kiss off, we don't need your abuse anymore. I am scared though. How to live life without him. How to function with him gone. I need to trust in only God and get my life back on track with him, where do I begin.

Well I haven't wrote on here in a while and with good reason. I have been workin my toosh off trying to get caught up. At this point right now, the end of this mess is no where in sight. I recently went through a very sad tragedy with my best friends, and it has been hard to deal with it. I just don't understand why these things keep happening to good people, people of God. Oh my so many problems that run through my head. At this point no solutions. Giving up is looking more and more like the answer. Too bad I have four little munchkins here, they would never let me give up no matter how hard life seems to get. Eventually we will succeed. We will preveil.

Have you ever felt like your drowning in misery? Like things seem to be always going wrong in your life. One problem after another keeps happening, everywhere you turn your slammed to the ground. It's like you keep saying well if only this happens then I can take care of that, but you know what.......it never happens. For those of you who seem to have issues like this, hang in there. If I can you can. God is good. It's funny because I always say what am I going to do, how do I get out of the mess I am in? Stupid me..... HELLO wake up Lynda, God has been there all along tapping you on your shoulder saying " I am waiting for you to turn to me" " Come to me, Lean on me, I sacrificed my own Son for you" "Have you forgotten all I have done for you?" Well here goes. Lord, I have been very foolish. I have lost my way, and feel like a dark fog is following me around all of the time. I have abandoned you, and don't even know why. You have been so gracious to myself and my family, and what kind of a thanks do you get? Well, definetly not what you deserve. Please forgive me of my sins and foolishness. Take my hand and lead me down the path you desire me to take.
I love you Lord,
Lynda